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millie

are you ok with that?



It was my turn to sleep in the room next to the girls, and I was getting ready to fall asleep. As I was laying on the bed, I kept hearing noises outside. I got up and checked a couple times to see if there was anything, but there was nothing. I tried locking the door, but it wouldn’t lock. I turned off all the lights in the room including my bathroom light. While I was laying in bed hearing the noises, I was thinking about the possibility of someone being outside or walking into my room, but surprisingly the thought of that happening didn’t really scare me, so I went to bed.


I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that my bathroom light was on. I thought, “Didn’t I turn that off right before heading to bed?” I didn’t bother getting up because I was too tired and I figured it was probably nothing. I woke up in the morning and my first thought was the bathroom light. I walked over, and it was off.


I mentioned it to Ms. Kasey, Hannah, and Abi at breakfast and they started sharing different occasions where something similar had happened to them, and we all had the same conclusion: no matter what is happening that may seem really weird or scary, it’s ok. And that sounds really silly typing that out because I almost feel like it seems too casual, but really, it is ok.


There were times back home where I would be afraid that someone would come in my family’s house at night and take me, even though we had an alarm system, all of our doors were locked, and we lived up on a hill with no neighbors. Now, I sleep alone in a house with a family of Monitor lizards living right behind me, different cracks or holes on the wall and door where a snake can easily get into, and I fall asleep to lots of interesting noises all around me, yet I am not afraid. I should be, but I’m not. In both situations, I knew/know that God is with me and protecting me, but the difference is that now I am ok with something less than ideal happening to me.


It makes me think of Daniel’s three friends who knew that God had the power to save them from the furnace, but also recognized that even if He didn’t they were ok with that. It is one thing to believe in a God who hung the stars and has the power to save us from every evil situation, and it is another thing to trust Him with our lives even when He allows bad things to happen. We like to remind ourselves that God will never give us more than we can handle, which is true, but I have used that phrase when I’m scared, to instead remind God to not let anything bad happen to me.


I have realized that what I am doing now is not my work, it is God’s. And because it is God’s work, He can see what will bring the most honor to His name and at the same time, the most benefit to my life. Even if that means going through a painful situation, I am ok with that.








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