growing in change

"Sometimes you have to slow down to let your heart catch up." - unknown

I was on the motorbike with one of my brothers last week, driving back from the gym, and the moon was gorgeous. He said that he loved how clear the sky was here and how bright the stars were. When he said that, I realized that when we first moved to Thailand and were living in Chiang Mai, that was my biggest complaint; I hated that I couldn't go outside and look up at the stars and breathe in the fresh air. At times I forget how attentive God is to the small things. A lot of times, He does things and I forget to notice and thank Him.

My brothers left to go back to America at the beginning of this week, and I think we're still trying to adjust to life without them here. Even though they were here for such a short time, they just came in and were a part of the things that we do.

After a goodbye life seems a little empty for a while. For me, it's important to look back and remember all the things I have to be thankful for. I tend to get stuck on what I don't have instead of what I do. Learning to grieve the passing of a season but also being grateful for the new one that I'm in is something I'm trying to learn.

I look back over this past month and have so many things to be thankful for. Memories that I'll have to look back on for the rest of my life. I don't want to let new ones pass by just because I'm stuck in the past. Life moves fast, and it feels hard to appreciate the gifts that God is giving, so I'm going to try to be more intentional about that.

I rode with my mom to drop off the kids this morning (with all seven of the little kids) and ended up having to watch them while she went in to attend a meeting. The car was hot and the kids have been sick so they've been extra grumpy lately. There were a lot of tears and fighting. But even with all of that, I felt a lot of peace and kind of enjoyed being able to hang out with them somewhere different. I always love when I can feel God helping me with the smaller problems or situations because I know He'll be there for me when something big happens.

Today the leaves were falling off the trees and it wasn't too hot. The sunset tonight is really pretty, and I know that God is showing me He's here even when it's harder to feel Him. I want to keep trusting that He knows what's best. He's someone I can fully rely on everyday.