harmful mindset

This whole week has been hard on me spiritually.

I didn't have any motivation to do anything. Things that usually come easy for me were a struggle to follow through with. Things that are built into my routine and kind of required didn't feel as important. I let myself stick with that mindset for way too long.

I still did most of what I was supposed to, but there were things I felt weren't important enough (which is why I'm posting this two days late). I realized that I wanted things to come easily for me. I didn't want to make myself push through and do things when they felt hard.

I was watching the little kids for the bedtime shift last night and knew that I wanted to go into the new week in a better place. But Naam was crying before we even started walking back to the house, and she didn't stop until around an hour later. It wasn't loud, but I was getting impatient. I wanted to shower, and it felt more irritating than usual. It took a long for me to do what I didn't want to do.

I finally walked over to her and asked her if she wanted to pray. I had already prayed with her multiple times, but this time, I prayed for forgiveness. I had let myself get upset over a three-year-old crying. I ended up leaving before she was completely asleep, but it was with more peace.

A lot of times, I let things build up until I can't deal with even the smallest mishap. I forget to continually take everything to God and let Him deal with those things that I'm not able to. I get annoyed when I don't feel like He's helping me, but really He's giving me the resources I'm just refusing to use them.

I went into the week, deciding it wasn't going to be good because there was a trip I didn't want to take. I'm learning that your thoughts are important. If you let yourself sit in a negative mindset, then a lot of what goes on around you feels negative. Those impact your life in a bigger way than seems possible.

Philippians 4:8 tells us what kind of things we're supposed to think about: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."