So much has happened since I last wrote in July. So many things have changed. At times, I find myself struggling to keep up with everything that's going on around me.
We're getting closer and closer to becoming an official Children's Home, and it feels scary. It feels bigger than we're all ready to handle, and sometimes, it feels like everything is flying out of control. But God always pulls through. He always reveals how good He is in every situation.
Abi and I got back from America on November 8th, and I had a really hard time adjusting back into life here. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but things felt weird. It felt uncertain, and uncertainty scares me.
2023 has literally changed everything that I thought I knew. God has been teaching me to rely more fully on Him. If I go off of my only feelings and thoughts (which, quite honestly, happens more often than not) I feel like a mess. But if I let Him sweep through, and clean up, He brings peace into situations where I feel fear.
Settling back in and getting to continue loving these kids is such a privilege. This morning at staff worship I had Naamy sitting on my lap. She wrapped her little arms around me, and I just felt so content. It was like she knew exactly what I needed. And those are the times that I realize that these kids are truly doing more for me than I am for them.
God is letting me be a part of their stories, and they're a huge part of my own. He's healing parts of me that I didn't know needed to be healed through all of these kids. Sometimes when you think you're going to do amazing things for God, He shows you what your biggest weaknesses are. I'm super thankful for those moments so that I can see where I need to grow.
Realizing that we really aren't needed is the fastest way to be content with where God puts us. I know that I'm going to continue forgetting what my purpose is, and He's going to have to keep reminding me, but I hope I'm always learning and growing in those experiences. I hope He's always able to get through to me in the times I wander away from Him.
Comments