Life is always changing. I sit here watching them plant rice in the fields that just 4 weeks ago were lakes. Everything has dried up so quickly it's crazy to me. If I hadn’t witnessed it every day, I probably would not believe that so much water, 10+ feet, could dry up just like that.
Life changes fast.
Just yesterday they had to say goodbye to the boys. Their visit flew by and as I stood there, I was again reminded that it will be my turn next. I am not ready.
To be honest, I’m scared to go back home. Of course, I’m very excited to see all the people I’ve missed so much. And I’m faithfully counting down the days till I will be reunited with Austin! But I know I’ve grown and changed in my time here, not drastically, but in enough little ways to feel like it’s a lot. Enough to know I don’t want to fall back into the rut of who I was or how I was living my life. Am I ready to go back to the routine of classes? Will social dynamics be different? If I’ve changed, I know the people I haven’t seen in so long certainly have, as well. Will I be able to grow in the busy go go go of everyday life? I’ve grown to like the stress-free, pressure-free, exhaustion-free side of life here. I just have to remind myself that even though the unknowns that often come with changes are scary, most changes in life are for the best.
I was scared to come here, too. Way more than I am about going back. I had never gone anywhere for 4 months. I'm spoiled to be able to go to school 20 minutes down the road from where I grew up. I’d never left my people, the familiarity of home, or traveled outside the US by myself. Four months seemed like an eternity going into it. I didn’t know the Nortons, I didn’t know exactly what my role would be here, and I didn’t know what I even had to offer. I cried so much the closer and closer goodbye got. But God was there. And each step of the way, He reassured me that this was His plan. He answered every prayer. He was leading and I could not deny that. So, sobbing (quite literally) I stepped into the unknown on this adventure with God.
And now here I am. In love with this project and each of these adorable kids! The Nortons have become like family. I’ve made lasting friendships with Hannah and Abi, and the chance to slow down and enjoy a simpler routine has been invaluable. I am happy, content, fulfilled, and growing with God like never before. One of the hardest decisions of my life has equally been one of the best.
Soon we will be surrounded in vibrant green on every side as the rice shows a new season is here. The fields drying up is not the amazing part, it's the beauty that comes from growth and new life. I think I’m beginning to recognize just how much of an impact my time here has made. Like the steady rate at which the water has evaporated, God has faithfully been at work. He's done things I didn’t think possible. I only hope He's preparing to grow something beautiful out of my life.
This chapter will soon end, but I think He’s only getting started.
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