Sometimes it feels like it really doesn't matter what I decide to do in a day. I think I can do anything I want and fix the things I struggle with later. I push it until tomorrow, and then tomorrow becomes tomorrow again. A lot of times, it feels like time is unlimited, and then I get shocked back into reality.
I don't have all the time in the world. My life could end right now or tomorrow, or I could have 20 years left, but I can't know and I don't think I want to. I know I need to learn to live like every day is my last. When God speaks, I need to be willing to listen right away. Not put it off until another day.
I was riding on the motorbike the other day, and I was alone, so it was quiet, and I had time to think. I had to get something from one of the little shops down the road, so it wasn't very far away, but I had a random thought pop into my head. If I died right now, would I be ready?
It scared me that I didn't know the answer to that question. I knew, at that moment, that I needed to stop and think about what I'm doing with my life. I know that I'm in the right place and I'm doing a lot of the right things, but a lot of times, my heart isn't in it. I'm just going through the motions.
I want to make sure that I'm doing everything in front of me to the best of my ability. I want to make sure I'm relying on God for the strength to be kind and patient even when I'm tired. The harder times in life can be where we grow the most if we allow God to work.
We had a Christmas program on Sunday where we invited kids from the village school to come and participate in games and activities. At times, I just thought about how much I wanted to go sleep and enjoy a slow Christmas but being able to interact and talk to those kids was probably the best part of the whole day.
They all come from different backgrounds and family situations, but they were all enjoying themselves so much. They were smiling and laughing and hugging and just having fun. They might not understand the meaning behind Christmas, but they were getting a taste of it. I was able to see Jesus in every one of their little faces, and I think a better view of just how big God's love is for all of us.
I find myself to be the happiest when I'm in the center of God's will, and He constantly reminds me of that fact. When I start to lose my focus on Him, He knows just what to do to bring it back.
I'm thankful that He cares enough to show me when there's a danger of falling off the right path. I love that the more I learn about Him, the more I'm able to see how great and amazing He is. I want to make sure I keep looking to see what He reveals to me.
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